Motherhood

Any End is OK!

I have to be real for one second today (aside my increasingly real under eye bags, extra belly weight and tiger marks), and share what happened the other day which had me torn… I am at the checkout line of my neighborhood market with T, and behind me are these two older ladies. I hear them babble about anything from Martha Stewart to what they’re making for dinner, but what made my ear pop was how one of them was telling the other “Did I tell you Molly has opted for a C-Section? I tried to talk to her out of it, but she is going with it without even trying the RIGHT way…” The other lady nodded and said “If girls now a days knew how it was in our day…No choices”… The way they nodded just made me want to say something, and although I really really almost did, It wasn’t my place, and it wasn’t the classy thing to do. I want to really share something that to this date sometimes bothers me! I tried. I really really tried and wanted a regular birth with my first in 2012. I even tried to hold it as much as I could without the “Juice”… But in the end, had I gone longer, we probably wouldn’t have made it. He got stuck, I got deathly sick and to the OR we went. I ended in a restricted area, my baby ended in the NICU… I won’t go into details but that day and week to follow was the best and worst of my life. The traumatic experience was something I still don’t think I have gotten over, and I +wish+ I would have agreed with my Dr. in the beginning.

Fast forward to my two subsequent births in which I opted to get C-Sections, I really felt they were a day at the spa in comparison (to my experience years before). And guess what. I had happy and wholly babies still. Whether it is a regular birth (And believe me… I wanted one), to an emergency flash C-section (Believe me, It was scary), to two planned C-sections that to me felt like the right way to go, we gave birth, we hurt, we healed, we walked the pain off on those hospital aisles at 3am, and we rocked at it! And to Molly, who must not know that granny is talking smack behind her back (bless her heart), whatever you choose, you are a warrior! Might be the generational gap, but let’s put an end to “this is the right way”! You are a true hero whether you tried or simply opted for whatever method of getting those buns out of the oven!  “Any end is Ok as long as they are wholly, happy and healthy!” & Naturally I had to get my felt board to do what I do with my three blessings that have made me the strongest person I know, tiger scars, battle marks and all!

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Till next time, friends!

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12 thoughts on “Any End is OK!

  1. You understand your body better than anyone else. I was born the normal way while my brothers via C-section. It was more tough for my mom, the C-section as it was a continuous healing process as my dad has to tend to her wounds even months after my brothers were born. Salute to mothers!

  2. I hate that there’s so much pressure and attention on mothers based upon their decision. There is no “right” way when it comes to deciding what works best for YOU. But thank you for sharing this so that other mothers can know that it’s OK

  3. Yeah I think those statements come from a place jealousy, because comparison is the thief of joy. I am sure if they had been given a choice back then they may have a different opinion on the topic. For example, when the next new technology comes out, like bubble births, where you do not even carry your child, this generation of c-sections may seem barbaric too. Life moves on, as humans we all just need to learn to be a little more empathic.

  4. I so agree! Birth never goes as planned. My Dr and I were in agreement for trying for a vaginal birth so that was the plan. I also desperately wanted an epidural. But when I went into labor it was fast and strong and next thing I knew, I was pushing without time for an epidural. I went from 0-10cm in under an hour and my baby girl was born in 20 minutes. The most painful experience of my life! I still wish I could have gotten the epidural! LOL but in the end, it’s all about the baby. Was she ok? Yes. Would she have been ok with a c-section? yes. You do you, and don’t mind anyone else!

    1. Amen sister!! Nothing ends up as it’s planned, sure you can aim for what you want and get it, but nothing will go 100% perfect. Honestly I am a woman who likes choices. Had I known what would happen with my first, I would have even elected s csection before anything! And if they gets judgment, so what?! – csection is there for a reason, and yes it should be used with caution, but there are women who ultimately want that before a regular delivery and that is OK with me. Happy mama happy baby! I must say I should have researched both births way more and I just was so freaked out! If I could do all over again, I would have tried my best for a home birth!

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